Inconveniently Pregnant
by Izzaay
Summary: Our favourite, arrogant blonde impregnates a certain fiery little redhead. How? Via the Hogwarts Express toilet seat, of course! But a Ministry law means the have to get married to have the child, and they CAN'T HAVE AN ABORTION! Please R&R DG BZPP


**Inconveniently Pregnant**

**_Chapter 1_**

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**A/N:** Hey guys, I know I'm supposed to the working on the Dark Lady, but this idea popped into my head and it was so original, so I thought I really had to write it down. Enjoy!

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Waiting in lines had never been one of Draco Malfoy's stronger points. Waiting in line while desperately needing to go to the toilet was an even weaker point.

Not that there was a line anyway. Draco had been lucky, usually there was a whole corridor's worth of people. He had been the only person in line.

That was, until Ginny Weasley had stepped out of her compartment and made her way through the standing crowd of students to where Draco was standing.

"Weaslette," he addressed her. She had changed greatly over the last year, when he hadn't seen much of her due to the war. The changes hadn't taken place physically as such; sure, she looked older and taller, almost managing perfection in his opinion. No, it was her personality that had clearly changed.

The Weaslette carried herself around with more confidence, and her clothing style had changed, from baggy and boyish to more feminine and sexier. She wore a large, yellow turtleneck jumper, a pair of black tights and yellow leather boots. It was rumored that she had won Witch Weekly's wardrobe makeover, hence the new clothes.

"Mal-ferret," she responded naturally, looking at his eyes and nodding her head slightly. Even her voice had been polished. It was crisper and most definitely more sophisticated.

Upon hearing her voice and looking at her, Draco noticed his own slight arousal. Luckily, the Weaslette didn't. '_Draco Malfoy!'_ he silently punished himself. '_Stop it this instant! Stop it before she finds out! It's the Weaslette, for Merlin's sake!'_

"So, how did last year treat you?" the Weaslette asked, referring to the war.

Draco raised an eyebrow.

"Merlin, Malfoy. Just trying to make civil conversation," she shrugged. "Oh look, bathroom's free." She pointed over Draco's shoulder, towards the door.

Eleanor Branstone, a chubby third year Hufflepuff student walked out of the door, holding it open behind her as she caught a glimpse of the Head Boy badge that was neatly pinned to the front of Draco's robes.

He nodded towards the Hufflepuff, who turned a bright shade of pink, and then entered the toilet.

Draco unzipped his trousers, and saw his arousal still standing tall. He quickly relieved it, deciding that it had more priority.

'_Damn that Weasley,' _he muttered, as he failed in an attempt to remove inappropriate thoughts already stuck firmly inside his head. It was a good thing he was an accomplished Occlumens. He didn't want to think what would happen to his reputation if someone discovered what he was thinking.

Draco relieved himself and then took a much needed leak, before washing his hands and leaving the toilet, which, like it had done years before, was already starting to make him claustrophobic.

As he opened the door, he was greeted with an enormous, loud line of students, still headed by the Weaslette, who deep in conversation with Loony Lovegood, the ditzy Ravenclaw chick.

Draco tapped her on the shoulder, then proceeded to tackle the students blocking the corridor, which happened to only be about a metre wide.

After a few "Oi, move it" 's and some "Yes, I'm Head Boy, so if you don't want a detention, move it" 's, he finally reached the Head Boy compartment, where his best friends Blaise Zabini and Pansy Parkinson were already seated.

"Hey dude," Blaise said, throwing the Snitch that he was tossing around to Draco, who caught it reflexively. "Still top-notch, huh?"

Draco smirked and took a little curtsey. He sat down next to Blaise, who sniggered with him as they watched Pansy read her magazine and sing to the music that was pumping out of her wand, oblivious to everything else going on.

"Oi, Pans!" Blaise yelled. "Turn down the music and stop reading. You look like Granger. And we got company."

As Pansy heard Blaise say 'Granger', she looked up. She was well-known for her hatred for the nerdy mudblood, which both Blaise and Draco shared, however none to the extent of Pansy's.

"Oh my gosh Draco!" she squealed, pulling him into a hug. "How are you? Are you okay? They said you'd gone into hiding for the war. Is it true? What happened? Is it true that Uncle Sev died? What about Vince? Was that true as well?" She stopped to catch her breath.

Draco and Blaise cracked up laughing. Apart from her hatred for Granger, Pansy was also known for how talkative she was.

"Okay, let's see," Draco chuckled. "How am I? I am perfectly fine; never been better, as a matter of fact.

'Am I okay? Yes, I am mostly okay. Physically? Check. Emotionally? Check. Mentally? Never have been.

'They said I'd gone into hiding for the war. Is it true? It is partially true, in the sense that yes, I was gone most of the time, but I came back to Hogwarts for the final battle.

'What happened? Way too much. Too crazy to comprehend. To sum it all up - Potter fights, Potter wins.

'Is it true that Uncle Sev died? Yes, it's true, I'm afraid. It's quite sad really, especially seeing as he was on the good side. He had been a spy all along.

'What about Vince? If by Vince, you mean that oaf Crabbe, he burnt to death in that stupid Fiendfyre that he set. I gotta admit I was quite surprised that he could even cast that spell, and then not so surprised it didn't work out in the end.

'And finally, drumroll; was that true as well? We've already established that."

"Uncle Sev?" Pansy choked. Blaise pulled her into a hug, which was, in Draco's opinion, a millisecond too long to have been appropriate.

"Wait," Draco said, cocking his head to the side. "There's nothing going _on_ between you two, right?"

Pansy and Blaise jumped back simultaneously. Draco snorted.

"No," Blaise said quickly. Pansy blushed slightly, which Draco noticed and acknowledged by grinning.

"If you say so," Draco continued grinning.

"There isn't!"

"Yeah, Dray, seriously!"

"If you say so!"

"Dray! There isn't!"

"Draco Lucius Benedict Malfoy! Nothing's going on, okay?"

"Alright, alright. I still don't believe you though."

"You're so frustrating!"

"Come to think of it, have you noticed any, er, _finer_ ladies around lately?"

"Well, Marietta Edgecombe has sure been keeping me on my toes lately…"

"What, that ugly chick with the bad acne?!"

"Which happened to be Granger's handiwork. But eww!"

"Chill, guys, I was _kidding_. That's where one says something funny yet ridiculous for the sake of entertaining others!"

"I know what kidding means!"

"Well I'm sorry for damaging your ego so, your highness."

"Oh shut up."

They went on like this for the rest of the journey until they reached Hogsmeade station, where they were transferred to the Thestral drawn carriages, and the first years onto the traditional flimsy boats.

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"Urgh, I'm so tired. _And how on earth did we end up on a carriage with the Golden Trio?_" Draco said the last part via Legilimency.

"Yeah, me too," Blaise nodded. "_You guys wanna give the feast a pass?"_

"Me three," Pansy sighed. "_Sure."_

_"Uh huh, yeah."_

"Well, that was clever of you, wasn't it? You three turning up to school on your first day tired as anything. _I _managed twelve solid hours of beauty sleep last night," Hermione Granger announced.

"Whatever, Granger, but I don't think the twelve hours was very effective on your filthy mudblood face," Pansy drawled lazily. That earned a snigger from the other two Slytherins and deathly glares from the Gryffindors.

"You shut up about Hermione, Parkinson," the Weasel said angrily, his ears red. "She could outdo you in a beauty competition any day."

"That is, of course, after I've taken the Polyjuice Potion so that I look like you, Weasel. And please, control yourself. The tomato look is very unflattering."

"Oi, who gives you the right to come in here and insult my friends?" Potter demanded. All along, he had been sitting in the corner of the carriage, drawing pictures in the air with his wand.

"If I remember correctly, Potter, Boy-Who-Couldn't-Die," Blaise spat his name, "We were in here first, when all of a sudden; you and your famous little posse skip in and sit down."

"So what, Zabini?" the Weasel said smugly. "If you'll be so kind to focus your limited attention here," he said, pointing at a gleaming badge on the mudblood's chest, "you'll notice the badge she's wearing. Head Girl - makes her the most important student in the school. She's got the right to sit anywhere she wants. I'm willing to bet a few galleons _you_ can't top that."

"No Weasley," Draco smirked. "But I can. Don't make bets that you can't fund. You're lucky I'm gonna spare you your few galleons." He adjusted his robes so that his shiny badge was visible.

The Golden Trio opened their mouths in shock.

"He didn't…"

"It was a mistake…"

"He's gone bonkers…"

"Shut your mouths, all of you. You'll catch flies."

"Draco, Pansy, we're almost there," Blaise said, changing the subject. "_If you really want to skip the Feast, owl Dumbledore and say you've got a headache."_

Draco nodded and summoned his Eagle owl, Pyrena, and attached a small piece of parchment to her leg, after scribbling,

_Dear Professor Dumbledore,_

_As a result of events that have taken place in recent times, I am slightly fatigued and not fit enough to attend the feast__. Prefect meetings will still __take place tonight at 9__ o'clock sharp in the astronomy tower. _

_Yours truly,_

_Draco Malfoy._

He sat Pyrena onto his arm, gathered his quill and followed Pansy through the door of the carriage, before then launching Pyrena into the air.

"What d'you think?" Blaise asked, surveying the first year students jumping off the boats onto the shore. "This batch gonna be a good one? They don't look too excited."

"They were here last term, remember?" Pansy said, fixing up her blonde curls. "Everyone's repeating the level they were supposed to do last term, 'cause those Death Eaters weren't actually such great teachers."

"Oh that's right," Blaise laughed. "That's why none of them are wet. Well trained already, I see. Oh, remember Alecto in Muggle Studies? 'Muggles and mudbloods alike are not worthy of living in this world. It is our job as servants of the Dark Lord to eradicate the world of this filthy, scum-loving breed,'" he said in a high pitched voice.

"Well, here we are guys," Draco said softly, as they reached grand oak doors of Hogwarts, "Final year at Hogwarts, final year of education, and final year of putting up with the Golden Trio."

"It's been quick, hasn't it?" Pansy sighed.

"Uh huh," the guys chorused.

When they walked into the Entrance Hall, instead of following everyone else to the Great Hall, they turned left, down into the corridors that led to the Slytherin dungeons.

"Victories," Draco muttered as they reached the bare stone wall that concealed the entrance to the Slytherin common room. The three of them then walked straight through the wall, as though there was nothing there.

Draco exhaled deeply. "Wow, I've missed this place."

"Whatever," Pansy muttered. "Do you wanna stop being emotional now? It's kinda getting to me."

Draco stood up straight, making his face cold and emotionless. "Me, Draco Malfoy, being emotional?" he sneered.

"Alright, Mister I-Have-To-Keep-My-Reputation-Or-Else-My-Parents-Will-Avada-Me. I wanna check out the Head Boy quarters. We can eat there. Come on," she laughed. She went over to an ancient trapdoor in the corner, where she descended the stairs beneath the door.

Draco and Blaise shook their heads, and then followed her. They weaved their way through a maze of dark, cold corridors, until they reached a pair of wooden doors that bore a brass plaque, engraved with the words 'Head Boy - Draco Malfoy'.

Pansy pushed the doors open, and her mouth dropped open. Draco raised both his eyebrows and nodded in approval.

Blaise said, "Dude, do you mind if we camp out in here this year?"

"You know what? I think you guys actually could. It's sure big enough," Draco shrugged.

Pansy squealed and jumped up and down in delight.

"Pans, keep doing that and I'm gonna have to reconsider," Draco said. She stood still as a statue. He grinned.

The room was amazingly large. It was circular, with the walls covered in mirrors. It followed a color scheme of silver, green and black, and was decorated in silk coverings and fabrics with dark mahogany furniture.

Blaise threw himself onto the king sized bed. "Dray, you're not gonna be able to used this bed by yourself. You know what I think?"

"No, Zabini. I don't think I want to either," Draco smirked.

"Dude, that wasn't what I was gonna say. You're the one with the sick mind. What I was gonna say was that it's time for you to get a girlfriend, man!"

"You know, he's right," Pansy turned her attention away from the bathroom door, which she had been inspecting. "Had your eyes on anyone lately? As in _not_ Marietta Edgecombe?"

"Well, if you must know," Draco started looking slightly uncomfortable. Pansy and Blaise nodded in encouragement, hanging on to every word that came out of his mouth. He sighed.

"Draco Malfoy, holier-than-thou Slytherin Prince, is feeling uncomfortable?!" Pansy said, in faux shock. "That's a first."

"Oh shut up Pans," Blaise shook his head. "What is it? Swear to Merlin we won't tell."

Draco sighed again, and looked around, making sure there was no-one else in the vicinity. He leaned in, and motioned for the others to do so as well.

"You tell anyone this, and I'll kill you," he threatened in an intimidating manner. "I got a hard from the Weaslette today," he said quietly.

Pansy's eyes grew the size of galleons. "Oh my godfather," she squealed. "You're kidding. The Weaslette, as in Ginny Weasley?"

"Say it any louder and I'll Avada your ass in the Great Hall tomorrow morning at breakfast," Draco hissed dangerously. "So, what about you and Mr. Zabini here?"

"Dray, we've already said. There's nothing going on. We're friends, you know? Yeah, _friends_," Blaise nodded slowly as though he was showing a toddler that one plus one made two.

"Whatever you say," Draco said, raising his arms in a surrendering position. "You know what? I'm really hungry."

"For the Weaslette," Pansy added.

Draco ignored her comment. "Oi, Dobby!" he yelled.

Dobby appeared with a loud 'crack'. "Yes, Master Malfoy sir? You is calling for Dobby?" He bowed so low that the top of his head touched his toes.

"Yes, Dobby. Do you think you could get us some dinner from the feast, please?" Draco asked politely. He had always liked Dobby, even when he had worked at Malfoy Manor.

"Yes, sir. Dobby is pleased to serve the Misters and the Miss." He disappeared with another loud 'crack'.

"So, NEWTS this year. You nervous?" Blaise asked, breaking the silence.

"No. Malfoy's are never nervous. But behind my cold and emotionless façade, yes, I am rather nervous."

Pansy nodded. "Me too. Hey, remember that time in our fifth year when you worried yourself sick 'cause of the OWLS? You were on the verge of throwing yourself into an induced coma, 'member that?"

Blaise laughed. "Oh man, I almost forgot. You were, like, making yourself throw up. Remember that time Pansy had to help you put foundation on, because you were really that green? Then it started raining, and that Romilda Vane chick said to you 'er, Malfoy, I think your make-up's coming off'."

All three of them cracked up laughing.

"Yeah, I remember," Draco said between gasps for oxygen. "I haven't been able to look her in the eye since."

A 'crack' coming from the corner of the room indicated that Dobby had returned, so Draco, Blaise and Pansy straightened out Draco's bed covers and shifted away from the center, so there would be room to eat.

"Dobby has Misters' and Misses' dinner," Dobby announced. He placed the tray he was holding onto the center of the bed. There was some roast beef, chicken and grilled salmon, with Greek salad and couscous. Beside that was some sticky date pudding for dessert and three goblets of pumpkin juice.

"Dinner is served," Dobby said, out of habit. They thanked him, and he disappeared with a final 'crack'.

They ate their dinner in silence, for the most part, simply enjoying one another's company. When they had all finished, Draco checked the time. It was a quarter to nine. That would give him about enough time to go up to the Astronomy tower and start preparing.

They put Dobby's tray on the floor, so that he could take it later, and with a flick of their wands, fixed Draco's bed so that it looked the way it did when they first arrived.

"'Right then, come on guys, time for the Prefect Meeting," Draco said, using his arms to push him up from the bed. Man, he was full.

They decided, that instead of walking all the way from the dark depths of the castle to the highest point, they would simply Floo over to the third floor corridor and walk from there. So that they did.

After a long march up the stairs and a dictionary's worth of profanities, they finally reached the Astronomy Tower, where Granger and most of the prefects were already seated, including Ginny Weasley, who was glaring daggers at him.

Blaise and Pansy looked at Draco, but he simply shook his head without drawing attention to himself.

The prefects stared at him, as though they expected him to say something. "What?" he sneered. "Go look at Head Dirt Queen for instructions." He turned his head in the direction of the mudblood, who frowned.

"Well," she said. "Looks like it's up to me to do the formalities. Guys, meet Draco Malfoy, he's your new Head Boy. Don't talk or look in his direction and I'm sure you'll have an okay relationship. I'm Hermione Granger and I'm Head Girl. Hopefully most of you already know me.

'Now, first meeting of term's always been a tradition, and usually the events that are taking place through the year are discussed, so let's get started. Of course, we'll have our Halloween ball and Christmas celebrations, but what else should we do? Anyone got any ideas?"

Michael Corner, a sixth year Ravenclaw whom Draco despised, raised his hand. Granger nodded. He cleared his throat.

"Well, I was thinking, seeing as the war's been won, perhaps we could have a memorial service and then after party on the anniversary of the victory? You know, as respect to those who died, and then celebration for the freedom et cetera?"

"That's a really good idea, Michael," Granger nodded. "Yes, I think we can incorporate that into our year. If you like this proposal, say I."

There were a number of 'I's, so Granger pulled a quill from her pocket and wrote it onto a piece of parchment she had been holding. "I'll work from this. Have we got any other suggestions?"

Nobody said anything, until Draco said, "I do." Everyone turned to look at him.

"As Corner said, the war's been won, we can now have unity between the houses, I guess?" There were numerous nods and murmurs. "Then perhaps we should organize a masquerade ball, where you don't bring a partner, but get matched up with someone from another house."

"Yeah, that's an awesome idea," a fifth year Draco did not recognize said. There was a buzz of agreements following that.

"Very well," Granger said, clearly disappointed that Draco had been able to think of something that cause so much agreement. "I'll add that to the list. I guess that's all. You are all dismissed. Hannah, Susan, you guys need to do rounds tonight."

The prefects filed out through the door, followed by Granger. Only Draco, Blaise and Pansy remained.

"Alright guys, come on, let's go," Blaise said, standing up and stretching. The three of them walked out the door they had come through in, only to be greeted by the Weaslette herself.

"Malfoy," she said. "I need to talk to you. _Alone._" She glared at Blaise and Pansy, who didn't move.

"It's alright guys. I can handle a little Weasel on my own. You guys go ahead, I'll catch up. You can go to my room if you want." They nodded and left.

"Now Weaslette, how may I be of service?" he asked, bowing his head.

"Read this," she said, looking as though she was about to cry. She handed him a piece of blue parchment, which he immediately recognized to be an official Ministry letter.

_Dear Miss Weasley,_ it read.

_First of all, we would like to offer our congratulations. You may or may not be aware, that at the Ministry, we have just received intelligence that you are, in fact, pregnant with Draco Malfoy's child._

_By Wizarding Law, you are required to marry the father of your child within three months of you receiving this letter. Abortion is not a legal option. A divorce is only available when the child is ready to attend Hogwarts._

_Thank you for your kind attention, and once again, congratulations._

_Evelyn Bremen, Department of Family Planning_

"You're kidding, right?" Draco asked uncertainly. He couldn't believe it.

"Does it look like I'm kidding?" she demanded, pointing at her tear filled eyes. "It was the toilet seat, wasn't it?"

"I think so," he said quietly, looking at the floor.How did this happen? So many things were running through his head. How would he tell mother and father? She was a Weasley, a Weasley! His parents despised the name. He groaned.

"Malfoy, go away. I don't want to see you ever again. We're only marrying on the very last day of these three months, am I clear? And then I'm filing for divorce the minute this kid gets on the Hogwarts Express. I can't stand you!"

With that, she ran away, to the Gryffindor Tower for support from the Golden Trio, presumably. He sighed. He hoped it was a dream, and that it would go away the next morning.

Meanwhile, he Flooed back to his room, to find that Pansy and Blaise had conjured beds identical to Draco's in the room and there was still plenty of room.

"Dray, what happened?" Blaise asked, noticing him.

Draco explained everything the Weaslette had told him, and the letter. Pansy gasped, Blaise was speechless.

"You're gonna have to marry her, right?" Blaise asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, I think so," Draco responded sadly. He fell backwards onto his bed, and soon fell asleep, wondering what kind of a mess he'd gotten himself into.

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**A/N:** I hope that went well. :DD Please review and like always, constructive critism welcome. Reviews give me motivation. Motivation makes me write.

Izzy x. **: ) keep smiling!**


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